Trust is not a Decision
Trust is not a decision that we take. We cannot decide for it. When we are finished with doubting, when we have come to see doubt through and through and we are completely convinced of the futility of the doubt, trust arises. We have to deal with the doubt, we are not to do anything about trust. Our trust will not be of much importance because our trust, our decision, will always be against doubt. And trust is not contrary to doubt; trust is simply the absence of doubt. When doubt is not, trust is.
Doubt is like darkness trust is like light. If we have doubt, then we will decide for trust. Otherwise, there is no need to decide for trust. Why decide for it? We must be having tremendous doubt. The greater the doubt, the greater the need is felt to create trust. So, whenever somebody says, “I trust very strongly,” remember that this person is fighting against a very strong doubt. That’s how people become fanatics. The fanaticism is born because they have created a false trust. Their doubt is alive, their doubt is not finished. The doubt has not disappeared, the doubt is there. And to fight with the doubt they have created a trust against it. If the doubt is very strong, they have to cling fanatically to their trust. Whenever somebody says that, “I am a staunch believer,” remember, deep down in his heart he is carrying disbelief. Otherwise, there is no need to be a strong believer. Simple trust is enough — why strong? When you say to somebody, “I love you VERY strongly,” something is wrong. Love is enough.
Love is not a quantity. When somebody says, “I love you very much,” something is wrong, because love is not a quantity. We cannot love less and more. Either we love or we don’t love. The division is very clear-cut.
Don’t repress doubt. Rather, just on the contrary, watch, look deeply into it, analyse it. Don’t leave any part of it unanalysed, unknown. Become acquainted with all the layers of the doubting mind. That very acquaintance, the penetration into doubt, will dissolve doubt. One day suddenly we will awake one morning full of trust — not as our decision. It cannot be a decision because trust is something we are born with; doubt is a learned thing. Trust is tacit, inborn.
Every child trusts. As he/she grows, doubt arises. Doubt is learned. So, trust is there always as an undercurrent in our being. We just drop doubt, trust will arise. And then trust has a tremendous beauty because it is pure. It is not against doubt, it is simply absence of doubt. The rock has been removed and the stream has come bubbling up, flowing.
So please, don’t try to make a decision about it. Our decision will be a delay; and the more we decide, the more we will find, deep inside, the worm of doubt increasing. Then we will be divided in two and you will never be at ease, and there will be continuous agony.
When doubt is no more there, trust happens. It flows. It arises out of our innermost core, from the innermost shrine. We start listening to a new music of being, a new style of being, a new way of being. It is not of the mind; it is of the being.